What About Now?

The whole thing is a family affair. She and her mother hover anxiously over the computer. Her father stands with his elbows on the kitchen counter, decidedly separate and running his hands through his hair with a phone to his ear. The twins are on the couch, taking turns throwing punches at each other and putting their fingers in their mouths. And there are her boobs, lit up like headlights from the light of the screen. She is posed in a twist, her breasts facing forward and her back angled to show the arc of her butt.

They are past the shock. It has been hours since her mother opened her email to find the photo from the anonymous sender. Her mother has gotten better at using the computer unlike before when she kept accidentally making the photo Full Screen. They do not condemn her even though they wish it were that simple. Her father remembers the polaroid camera he loved to use to photograph his penis. Her mother remembers those pictures and the lurid sketches she made of her body in her university art class. The twins remember nothing but they bathe together so what is a boob to them? No, it is only the email that scares them and the words they have to invoke like Stalker and Child Pornography.

She thinks she knows who the email is from. Presumably the boy who demanded to have the photo. She doesn’t tell her family this because she doesn’t want them to be angry with him. He must not understand the kind of trouble that he is causing them. And for himself. Instead she tells them it came from her private camera roll on some app for photo filters. Probably the creators of the app made it for that purpose. The vigor of her parents' reaction frightens her. They want to sue the company, the filter company. Her mother’s college boyfriend is a top lawyer for this kind of thing. She’s calling him. While on the phone with him, her mother starts to look reassured, excited even. Her daughter is not a victim but will be a champion of justice, shaping a rebellion against the perverts who control modern technology. Her college boyfriend wants to alert the media. They won’t use names but it’s important parents get their children off the app as soon as possible. Is it blackmail, he wants to know. The family looks at the email with fresh eyes. Below her photo are the words: what about now?

She sneaks out of the house that night to go visit him. His mom answers the door. It’s so nice to see her and does she want cookies? He’s in his room and it takes him a while to answer her knock. He looks at her smugly, he knew she would come crawling back. She hits him. Why would he do that? I missed you, he says. He holds her, they kiss. She tells him about the lawyer. He thinks she’s wrong because he’s also underage. They look it up on her phone. She’s right. He starts to panic. She can’t tell anyone, please, it would ruin everything. He’s going to get his acceptance rescinded. He holds her, they kiss. I won’t tell anyone, she says.

An article goes out about the app. Then they track the IP Address to her school’s computer room. Another article goes out. The company sues for defamation. She wears a blouse with a collar to her neck to court. The trial is short and her family is under fire. Why, they ask her, why did she lie? Who sent the email? I sent it, she says. People are posting online about her. They are writing awful things about her and slandering her family. What kind of girl sends her own family that kind of photo and then lies about it? The attention seeking kind. The whorish ones. Eventually, the boy stops contacting her because her new reality makes him uncomfortable. Besides he has other things on his mind, like the fraternity he is rushing and his intro seminar. He still has the original photograph and sometimes he thinks of sharing it with the people on the online forums who want it. He doesn’t do this though because he is a different person now.

It takes her a while to tell her parents the truth. They believe her, because it makes sense. But the internet thinks better. Who wants to hear more lies from the incest slut? And so the internet moves on, but how can she? When she was younger she loved to lay in her bed completely naked after a shower. Now, when she dresses and feels the folds of her skin, she is reminded of how he held her and how she kissed him back.